A sad thing has happened to me this week. I had to actually delete one of my characters from the Red Eclipse SWTOR server. Unless I don’t connect with the character, I never do this.
Zav-Yun: My 2nd Ever SWTOR Character
When I first joined SWTOR it was as an F2P player. I created Cor-Jhan Arcturus (Jedi Consular/Shadow) and Zav-Yun (Jedi Knight/Sentinel). That was probably 3 years ago. I went through the whole Jedi Knight storyline and loved it. Jedi I have created in my minds eye, or sometimes in Fan Fiction wielded either the double-bladed Lightsaber, or two Lightsabers.
Past Star Wars games I’ve tried never seemed to grasp how tricky fighting with two Lightsabers actually is, but The Old Republic does a really good job of this with the engine they have. I don’t think they’ve really nailed the Double-bladed Lightsaber, which is a more acrobatic form than SWTOR reproduces. But you live with imperfections and SWTOR bugs and move on.
Zav-Yun struggled early on in life with the darkside. Dual-wielding is by its nature an aggressive Lightsaber form and this led to him not always thinking when deciding how to deal with a beaten foe. But through encouragement from the Jedi Council and his wife Kira (a JK Companion) he overcame his struggles to be firmly Lightside. Not 100% but enough to be able to resist temptation.
A Character ‘Killed’ by Fallen Empire
It was only when Knights of the Fallen Empire was released, that I struggled with Zav-Yun. Often coinciding with really bad days with my Fibromyalgia, I took some decisions that were ‘out of character’:
- Permitting Valkorion to save Lana Beniko at The Gravestone’s crash site
- Allowing the same Emperor (who he had once defeated) to control him in the battle against the Scion Heskel
- Force choking Tora (Koth’s “best engineer”) after the Battle with Arcann for being really annoying when you’re about to slip into a Coma
It was then I stopped believing in the character I had let Zav-Yun become. Despite believing I should be true to each character I had allowed myself to take irreversible decisions and actually made him unbelievable.
It was made worse because if you allow Valkorion to save Lana at The Gravestone and accept his power against Heskel you have no choice but to take his power against Arcann. Even if you try to resist him, you’re told that you’ve given up too much to Valkorion and he effectively ‘takes over’.
Once control of my character was given over to a third party, he felt lost.
The Irony is: Valkorion Won
Maybe this is the power of the Fallen Empire series. Real decisions, irreversible decisions and consequences for decisions taken. Unfortunately for me, those decisions (which is totally my fault, I accept that) killed a Jedi Battlemaster. The Emperor’s presence in the Force has always been deceptive (quote: Darth Marr) and his deception won. So I guess hats off to the developers and the storytellers at BioWare. But I’m gutted to have lost a character with 3 years invested in.
We Are Being Reborn
So I’m going to try again. I will recreate him on a different server and start all over. I don’t have an L60 token so I will have to start from L1. But maybe this time I’ll ignore my own personal feelings and get back into the mind of one of my previously best creations.
Zav-Yun Mark II: Togruta Jedi Sentinel
Have you lost faith in any characters through SWTOR? What happened and did you actually mind?