I’ve not been home long after having spent new year with friends. It was nice to finally get time with people we don’t see often, but with the amount of pain and the difficulties of life, being wished a Happy New Year can seem really hard to take.
Why ‘Happy New Year’ is easier said than done
2015 was a really hard year for me and my wife. My Fibromyalgia has definitely got worse over the last 12 months. My energy is at an all-time low and I have had to go gluten-free having discovered that it aggravates my pain levels. My ability to work is less than it was a year ago and I need to work 4 days a week now, rather than 5. I can no longer play piano at church because my hands hurt too much afterwards – last time I played I nearly cried at the end – and that’s not the effect church is supposed to have!
In short, I’m really noticing the fact that Fibromyalgia is a chronic illness and that it also seems to be degenerative.
Although my medication keeps my depression mostly at bay, I fairly regularly have a down day. It’s hard to remain encouraged when fighting pain every single day, not knowing if your medication will work or not. My ability to drive has been drastically diminished and housework knocks me for six. I don’t like the limitations that Fibro gives me.
2015 was hard financially. We haven’t been paid for the last couple of months while we rework our income situation. That adds another level of stress to life and if you couple that with my need to work less, it’s going to be hard to turn our personal finances around.
So actually receiving a Happy New Year is really hard. Maybe ‘happy’ is the wrong word. Maybe we should be wishing people a ‘better new year’. Even if 2015 was amazing for you, being wished an even better one is no bad thing, right?
What Positives I can Take into 2016
Is it all doom and gloom? Probably not, although it can be hard to remember the positives. So what good things happened last year?
- Although we were forced to move house (our former landlady sold that house) we moved into a much better place at only a slightly higher cost.
- We survived another year of business despite the massive challenges facing us.
- I am still able to preach at church, which I do once a month.
- My family seemed to have gained more understanding of Fibromyalgia and so have been massively supportive this year.
- We haven’t gone without food, shelter or heating.
A Better New Year?
Pain and depression make having a ‘Happy New Year’ pretty impossible. But it is my hope that 2016 is, by far, a better new year. So here are my hopes:
- I am starting Cognitive Behavioural Therapy in January, so I hope that helps me to cope with my condition better.
- That our personal income covers our living costs.
- That the people I work with are more understanding of my condition and know I’m still doing my best in work.
I don’t believe in New Year’s Resolutions, but there’s no harm having aspirations and goals for the year. These are mine and I believe they are attainable. If you can, I wish you a Happy New Year, but if that’s unlikely, then I definitely wish you a better new year.
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